Losing makes you better (mistakes are good, actually)

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I lost a game of chess in spectacular fashion recently. I made mistakes in my first few moves that left me vulnerable, and my opponent picked me apart.

The next game, I dominated. I took what I had learned from my loss and used it to my advantage.

I don’t think I would have played as thoughtfully — or won so decisively — in the latter game if it weren’t for the mistakes I made in the former.

OK, mais c’est quoi le rapport avec l’anglais ?

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Most of us don’t have a great relationship with making mistakes when we’re speaking another language. There’s a lot of fear, shame, embarrassment, and sometimes even guilt that can come up.

We associate mistakes with bad grades, being ridiculed, feeling stupid, missed opportunities, feeling like an outsider…

As a defence mechanism, we think:

If I can speak without making mistakes, I will be protected from having to experience all of those unpleasant emotions.

That isn’t exactly how it works.

Mistakes are necessary.

Mistakes help you get better.

Mistakes are an opportunity.

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Quand je suis arrivée à Grenoble en 2015 pour un séjour linguistique, j’avais un niveau intermédiaire de français. J’ai eu de bonnes notes dans mes cours de français à mon université américaine.

Mais à Grenoble, je galérais avec… everything.

La première fois que ma mère d’accueil m’a dit, “t’en veux ?” (on dînait), je n’ai pas compris ce qu’elle disait.

Je ne pouvais pas prononcer “grenouille” ni “bouilloire.”

J’avais besoin de demander aux caissiers de répéter le montant de “quinze euros trente huit” ou de “cinq euros et soixante-dix-neuf centimes.”

Je me souviens de la première fois que je suis allée à Monoprix. Je voulais acheter un rasoir mais je n’arrivais pas à les trouver. Je ne savais pas comment dire “rasoir,” alors j’ai fait une petite recherche sur Google et je me suis dirigée vers un employé.

Et puis j’avais tellement massacré la prononciation de “Où sont les rasoirs ?” que le pauvre employé a dû me dire, “I don’t understand. Tell me in English.”

Since then, I have never forgotten how to pronounce “rasoir.”

Without all these mistakes, I would still be stuck at an intermediate level of French.

Making mistakes — many of them — is what allowed me to continue progressing in French, ultimately allowing me to live and work in the Ardèche for several years, helping me pass the DALF C2 in 2018, giving me work as a French teacher, and make life-changing friendships with Francophones.

I realized during my time in Grenoble that messing up was actually one of the best ways to learn.

This mindset shift was by far the most valuable lesson from my séjour linguistique, with positive ripple effects that went far beyond remembering “rasoir.”

When you stop seeing mistakes as a bad thing, tu vas te débarrasser d’un immense fardeau.

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Losing at chess makes me a better chess player.

Mes erreurs de français m’avaient aidée à progresser, et c’est grâce à toutes ces erreurs que je peux parler français couramment.

When have you made mistakes — in English or otherwise — that were actually learning opportunities in disguise?

I’d love to know :)

Today’s quick English lesson

How do you say, “Comme tu veux” in English?

❌ As you want

✅ It’s up to you

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Thanks for reading. À la prochaine :)